Sunday, January 17, 2010

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - Part 2

I want to share with you what I am learning from this book. Of course, there are chapters that do not apply to me and other chapters that hit my issue right on the head.

Cutting my friends some slack: This, like so many things in this book are obvious, by worth repeating. Sometimes we say or do something that offends or irritates our friends and family. Doesn't it make sense that we should understand when people do this to us to be more understanding and cut them some slack? Everyone has bad days, everyone is stressed once in a while, and everyone lets a bad decision get by them once in a while. If these people are truly our friends we will cut them some slack.
I find this advice helpful when thinking of a friend of mine who interrupts me and tells me her opinion before I'm done with my thought. But, she is a really good friend who is extremely supportive of me. In my opinion it's more important to keep our friendship and be okay with her quirk, than to do anything about it. I will cut her some slack when she is over eager to be that supportive friend.

Pot-stirring: The book suggests that we not bring up old situations that may be hurtful to other people. I honestly believe that I don't do this to other people, but I do do it to myself. If left alone with my thoughts I can bring up previous conversations and confrontations and turn a perfectly good mood into a miserable one. Why do I do this? The problem is long gone. Since reading this book, I find myself starting this thought process and I am actually able to push those thoughts aside and focus on the here and now. How refreshing.

Look in the mirror: This chapter presents the idea that the things that we find irritating in other people are actually behaviors that we ourselves possess. Interesting. Here is what I find irritating about a few of my friends: they interrupt, they act like they have all the answers, and they are competitive. Oh my. That's a lot to swallow if this is how I act. If I interrupt people I am not aware of it, so I need to pay more attention. Maybe I do act like I know it all...so I tried something at work the other day. A colleague of mine was having trouble with a family member and wanted to vent a little bit. So I listened, and even though I had a few suggestions I kept them to myself. Unlike other times we've had these conversations where she gets slightly defensive, she opened up more when she realized that I assume to have all the answers. Now I realize why she reacted the way she use to...she was reacting to my suggestions not to her original gripe.

I suppose that's enough for one day.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Step-Familly

Perhaps I spoke too soon. My step-daughter is in the hospital. As much as I would take the illness for her, I can't. I can't even keep her from being bored. Her family isn't having too much luck. My step-daughter (16) has three siblings on her mom's side, a three-year-old brother, a two-year-old sister, and a two-month-old sister.

Even though Brianna has been admitted into the hospital, she knows her roommate rather well...unfortunately, it's her two-month-old sister. She's never alone at night, her mom and step-dad have been sleeping in the room with the two girls. My heart aches for them, but every family has there difficulties to get through...and they will.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Being Sick instead of your Child

How many times as parents have we wished to be able to be sick instead of our child? Every time right? I've often felt terrible for Jared when he only has the sniffles. This past October I had the rare opportunity to be sick instead of my child. Let me explain....

You know how woman pass their immunities on to the fetus that they are carrying? This past October I started a weekend with a head cold. As Monday drew near I started to feel weak and nauseous. Since I was pregnant I didn't fool around and went to my family doctor to find out I had the flu. Geez that was scary. With H1N1 going around and all the stories about pregnant women dying from it. However, I survived...obviously, and instead of thinking poor me, I'm pregnant and have the flu, I came to this conclusion: Since I had the flu maybe someday my baby won't because I've help him build up an immunity. Every time I felt weak or nauseous I thought of this and was more than happy to have the flu.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Restaurant Savings

Have you discovered restaurant.com? It is a cool website where you can purchase gift certificates to local restaurants. But you're getting a deal because they offer $25 gift certificates for $10 or $15. Check it out!!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

You may not know this about me, but I am very sensitive. My skin is not thick. Just looking at me the wrong way just might send me away crying. Because of this I spend a lot of time thinking about how I have been wronged and I can hold a grudge FOREVER. Not that this is ruining my life but I'm sure I could be happier if I could let these insignificant things roll off of my back.

That's where the book Don't Sweat the Small Stuff comes in. I stopped at the library after school and picked up the book so I'm not too far into it. Hopefully this book will have some suggestions to 'get over' these things.

What is the point of this post then? The chapter entitled "Get off to a Peaceful Start" has already helped me have a better day. I'm not going to tell you anything you don't already know. Your mornings set the tone for the entire day. It's true.

Here is my typical morning. The alarm goes off and after 20 minutes of hitting the snooze button, I finally get out of bed, get ready for work, then a few minutes later I argue with Jared to use the bathroom, get dressed, eat breakfast and I'm often leaving the house frustrated and feeling rushed.

This morning....I woke up 20 minutes earlier and didn't feel rushed getting ready. A bonus was that my son woke up with his alarm clock and came downstairs on his own. He got ready for school without any fighting and I have to attribute this to my attitude. I didn't feel the need to demand that he get dressed this minute because I had time to spare. Since I requested rather than demanded his cooperation, my morning was fantastic.

Even though I wanted (REALLY wanted) to hit the snooze button I asked myself if I feel more rested when I take those extra 20 minutes. And the answer is no. So why not get my butt out of bed and have a peaceful morning?

I am in need of advice...how do you let things go? What do you do when someone has wronged you, but it's not worth your energy to do anything about it or even think about it?

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Being Neighborly

I've been inspired with a post idea from Country Mouse. She has a few interesting neighbors and asked about ours....okay, I'll bite.

First, let me tell you about the type of neighbor that I am. For 5 years I lived in my first house as a home-owner and never learned the names of my neighbors. Except for the people behind us, but that's only because I went to school with them. I like to keep to myself. One reason for this is that what if things go horribly wrong? Then what? Did you ever have a neighbor that you didn't get along with? I figure that if I don't get to know my neighbors then there is nothing to dislike about them.

Currently our neighbors are great. I know them only by name. To the North is Marie who has an in ground pool that we have been invited to use but never took her up on this offer. It seems to personal to me. To the South is Gordy. Gordy is the cutest old man that I ever met. My husband is much more social than I am and cuts his grass and clears the snow for him. In return, Gordy brings our trash can back after the garbage truck has come through. Across the street is my high school Biology teacher. Nice man, but I think we all like our privacy.

On to the more interesting stories...
Beatrice and Jerome. The neighbors of my childhood. Dum...dum...dum (that's suppose to be the evil noise).
I don't know if it was out a pure evilness or if they were jealous, but they were not the nicest neighbors.
For starters, when my parents were having their stone driveway concreted, Jerry decided to mow his lawn and wash his car. Sounds harmless enough, unless you aim the grass clippings into the wet cement and then throw your garden hose in said wet cement also. Jerk!
Another example was when my mom was hanging her work cloths out to dry. My mom is an RN who wears white scrubs. Beatrice decides that it's time to repaint her patio posts....black....right next to my mom's uniforms.
Well, those are my memories of Beatrice and Jerry.

There was also Lucille who was our neighbor growing up....she was like a grandmother to me. Actually, she babysat me more than my real grandmothers did. What a blessing she was.

And Krista...the girl that lived behind me and is a good friend of mine to this day.

As far as neighbors go, you have to take the good with the bad. However, I've learned to leave it at that.