Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - Part 2

I want to share with you what I am learning from this book. Of course, there are chapters that do not apply to me and other chapters that hit my issue right on the head.

Cutting my friends some slack: This, like so many things in this book are obvious, by worth repeating. Sometimes we say or do something that offends or irritates our friends and family. Doesn't it make sense that we should understand when people do this to us to be more understanding and cut them some slack? Everyone has bad days, everyone is stressed once in a while, and everyone lets a bad decision get by them once in a while. If these people are truly our friends we will cut them some slack.
I find this advice helpful when thinking of a friend of mine who interrupts me and tells me her opinion before I'm done with my thought. But, she is a really good friend who is extremely supportive of me. In my opinion it's more important to keep our friendship and be okay with her quirk, than to do anything about it. I will cut her some slack when she is over eager to be that supportive friend.

Pot-stirring: The book suggests that we not bring up old situations that may be hurtful to other people. I honestly believe that I don't do this to other people, but I do do it to myself. If left alone with my thoughts I can bring up previous conversations and confrontations and turn a perfectly good mood into a miserable one. Why do I do this? The problem is long gone. Since reading this book, I find myself starting this thought process and I am actually able to push those thoughts aside and focus on the here and now. How refreshing.

Look in the mirror: This chapter presents the idea that the things that we find irritating in other people are actually behaviors that we ourselves possess. Interesting. Here is what I find irritating about a few of my friends: they interrupt, they act like they have all the answers, and they are competitive. Oh my. That's a lot to swallow if this is how I act. If I interrupt people I am not aware of it, so I need to pay more attention. Maybe I do act like I know it all...so I tried something at work the other day. A colleague of mine was having trouble with a family member and wanted to vent a little bit. So I listened, and even though I had a few suggestions I kept them to myself. Unlike other times we've had these conversations where she gets slightly defensive, she opened up more when she realized that I assume to have all the answers. Now I realize why she reacted the way she use to...she was reacting to my suggestions not to her original gripe.

I suppose that's enough for one day.

Step-Familly

Perhaps I spoke too soon. My step-daughter is in the hospital. As much as I would take the illness for her, I can't. I can't even keep her from being bored. Her family isn't having too much luck. My step-daughter (16) has three siblings on her mom's side, a three-year-old brother, a two-year-old sister, and a two-month-old sister.

Even though Brianna has been admitted into the hospital, she knows her roommate rather well...unfortunately, it's her two-month-old sister. She's never alone at night, her mom and step-dad have been sleeping in the room with the two girls. My heart aches for them, but every family has there difficulties to get through...and they will.

Being Sick instead of your Child

How many times as parents have we wished to be able to be sick instead of our child? Every time right? I've often felt terrible for Jared when he only has the sniffles. This past October I had the rare opportunity to be sick instead of my child. Let me explain....

You know how woman pass their immunities on to the fetus that they are carrying? This past October I started a weekend with a head cold. As Monday drew near I started to feel weak and nauseous. Since I was pregnant I didn't fool around and went to my family doctor to find out I had the flu. Geez that was scary. With H1N1 going around and all the stories about pregnant women dying from it. However, I survived...obviously, and instead of thinking poor me, I'm pregnant and have the flu, I came to this conclusion: Since I had the flu maybe someday my baby won't because I've help him build up an immunity. Every time I felt weak or nauseous I thought of this and was more than happy to have the flu.

Restaurant Savings

Have you discovered restaurant.com? It is a cool website where you can purchase gift certificates to local restaurants. But you're getting a deal because they offer $25 gift certificates for $10 or $15. Check it out!!

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

You may not know this about me, but I am very sensitive. My skin is not thick. Just looking at me the wrong way just might send me away crying. Because of this I spend a lot of time thinking about how I have been wronged and I can hold a grudge FOREVER. Not that this is ruining my life but I'm sure I could be happier if I could let these insignificant things roll off of my back.

That's where the book Don't Sweat the Small Stuff comes in. I stopped at the library after school and picked up the book so I'm not too far into it. Hopefully this book will have some suggestions to 'get over' these things.

What is the point of this post then? The chapter entitled "Get off to a Peaceful Start" has already helped me have a better day. I'm not going to tell you anything you don't already know. Your mornings set the tone for the entire day. It's true.

Here is my typical morning. The alarm goes off and after 20 minutes of hitting the snooze button, I finally get out of bed, get ready for work, then a few minutes later I argue with Jared to use the bathroom, get dressed, eat breakfast and I'm often leaving the house frustrated and feeling rushed.

This morning....I woke up 20 minutes earlier and didn't feel rushed getting ready. A bonus was that my son woke up with his alarm clock and came downstairs on his own. He got ready for school without any fighting and I have to attribute this to my attitude. I didn't feel the need to demand that he get dressed this minute because I had time to spare. Since I requested rather than demanded his cooperation, my morning was fantastic.

Even though I wanted (REALLY wanted) to hit the snooze button I asked myself if I feel more rested when I take those extra 20 minutes. And the answer is no. So why not get my butt out of bed and have a peaceful morning?

I am in need of advice...how do you let things go? What do you do when someone has wronged you, but it's not worth your energy to do anything about it or even think about it?

Being Neighborly

I've been inspired with a post idea from Country Mouse. She has a few interesting neighbors and asked about ours....okay, I'll bite.

First, let me tell you about the type of neighbor that I am. For 5 years I lived in my first house as a home-owner and never learned the names of my neighbors. Except for the people behind us, but that's only because I went to school with them. I like to keep to myself. One reason for this is that what if things go horribly wrong? Then what? Did you ever have a neighbor that you didn't get along with? I figure that if I don't get to know my neighbors then there is nothing to dislike about them.

Currently our neighbors are great. I know them only by name. To the North is Marie who has an in ground pool that we have been invited to use but never took her up on this offer. It seems to personal to me. To the South is Gordy. Gordy is the cutest old man that I ever met. My husband is much more social than I am and cuts his grass and clears the snow for him. In return, Gordy brings our trash can back after the garbage truck has come through. Across the street is my high school Biology teacher. Nice man, but I think we all like our privacy.

On to the more interesting stories...
Beatrice and Jerome. The neighbors of my childhood. Dum...dum...dum (that's suppose to be the evil noise).
I don't know if it was out a pure evilness or if they were jealous, but they were not the nicest neighbors.
For starters, when my parents were having their stone driveway concreted, Jerry decided to mow his lawn and wash his car. Sounds harmless enough, unless you aim the grass clippings into the wet cement and then throw your garden hose in said wet cement also. Jerk!
Another example was when my mom was hanging her work cloths out to dry. My mom is an RN who wears white scrubs. Beatrice decides that it's time to repaint her patio posts....black....right next to my mom's uniforms.
Well, those are my memories of Beatrice and Jerry.

There was also Lucille who was our neighbor growing up....she was like a grandmother to me. Actually, she babysat me more than my real grandmothers did. What a blessing she was.

And Krista...the girl that lived behind me and is a good friend of mine to this day.

As far as neighbors go, you have to take the good with the bad. However, I've learned to leave it at that.

The Turkey Game

I have always loved to play games and my son is no different. I've decided to take advantage of this and create our own board game. I call it the Turkey Game because the game pieces that I found lying around the house are the shape of turkeys.

In addition to my 4-year-old son, I have a 16-year-old step-daughter. I remember studying with her for tests and it was so boring. This is my solution to studying without the boring.

For our game we read a question and when we get it right, we roll the die and move that many spaces. You can send people home by landing on the same space. The first person to get all of their pieces home wins.

Of course you can make up your own rules.

You will need:

Cardboard to create the game board. If you want to get a little fancier you can buy a blank game board online. There are also sites where you can print a template to use.

Index Cards to write the questions on. The questions for my 4-year-old include simple addition, spelling, what street, town, state, and country he lives in, drawing simple geometric shapes, etc. This game could also be adapted for my 16-year-old when she is studying for, let's say Anatomy. And we can all play together at the same time!!

Game Pieces. I was lucky enough to have these 14 turkeys lying around the house, but you could use buttons, coins, or buy pieces online.

Paper and Pencil for the drawing questions for solving math problems.

Dice.



I was able to pull my son away from Wii for a few minutes to give this game a try. I will say that the game was successful. And the added success was that I used the same question cards as he did. So he was able to see/hear the answers to questions he may get the next time around.

2010 To-Do List

1) Have a baby - I suppose I'm doing this one whether I like it or not.
2) Redecorate the living room. That room is in need of carpeting, new windows, a little paint, and some wall art.
3) Increase Emergency Fund - Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
4) Lose the baby weight - I've done it before (twice) and I'll do it again!
5) Update scrapbooks and keep them updated. I guess it's about time to have another workshop.
6) Research local things to do this summer for our stay-cation. This will help with #3.
7) Update my curriculum. I will need a little help from the district on this one.
8) Fix up the back yard. Have trees cut down, pour patio, and remember to water plants.
9) Fix up bar room enough to have a party!!
10) Take advantage of the library more often.


What is on your to-do list for the next year?

For the Greater Good

There is a dangerous intersection in my community. The cost to make this deadly intersection safer is apparently $155,000 for a traffic light and 1 human life.


When the township decided to replace the blinking light that has been there for decades with a traffic light, they knew that things would get worse before they got better. Twelve days after the initial operation of the new traffic light, a woman was killed.


Of course I feel awful about the woman...but I have other thoughts too. The person driving the other vehicle...his life is ruined whether it was his fault or not. The woman's family will never enjoy a Christmas holiday without remembering these events. And worst of all is all the people that will be safe because of this woman's sacrifice and never know it or think about it.

Mom Was Right - Leg Cramps and Lip Pinching

I'll get right to the point. When you have a cramp in you calf, pinch your upper lip as hard as you can and the cramp will go away - so my mom says.

My mom read this somewhere, tried it, and it worked for her. Wow, did make a fool out of her when we were kids. We joked that of course you won't feel the leg cramp anymore, your lip hurts too much. Either your lip or your ego from looking like a fool....hopping around on one foot while pinching your lip.


I did some research online:


eHow suggests this...
1) Rub your leg and put your leg out straight and flex your foot.
2) Stretch before exercise.
3) Diet - Get plenty of water and calcium, avoid sodium.
4) Take a carnitine supplement


Articlebase.com says...
They also agree to rub your leg and watch your diet...then the very last paragraph of the article states:
One pressure point is between and to the front of the space between your big toe and the second toe. Firm pressure with one or two fingers at the onset of cramp will stop it instantly. The other pressure point is the Septum? Which is the lower bone between the nostrils? Firm pressure on this point with the inside of the forefinger at the first sign of lower leg cramp will stop it dead. This last one sounds silly I know but please try it as it nearly always works.


My Personal Research:

Since I'm in the second half of my pregnancy, I have the pleasure of almost nightly leg cramps and get do conduct my own research. Now, the pain usually makes me forget my mother's advice, but after a few seconds I remember and think, "Ah, what they hell, it can't hurt to try". Ladies and Gentlemen, she was right. Within a few seconds the pain slowly goes away and I am able to flex my foot and rub my leg. Thanks mom! You were right....sorry I laughed at you.

The Rabbit Died....Over 5 Months Ago

That's right...I'm pregnant. This is not exactly a planned pregnancy, but it certainly is a wanted one. Since I'm a teacher we usually try to time things so that I don't need to take time off of work. A due date of the end of May/beginning of June is ideal for us. However, this child is coming in the beginning of April. When I say that this was not exactly planned, the baby will be coming a little earlier than expected.

The day we found out I remember feeling a huge wave a relief in not having to try. Everything was done and we didn't have to feel the pressure of a deadline for our specific window. Whew!

It's another boy and we are beyond excited. No names yet, but I will keep you update...I promise.

Holy Flying Bats Batman!!

Just this past week I started reading the Harry Potter series and I am on the second book. Last night I was home alone reading in bed. In the book it is October and Harry and his friends walk into the great hall and start describing the Halloween decorations one of them being real bats flying around. Just as I read that I saw a shadow out of the corner of my eye.

Oh Ha Ha imagination - I'm not falling for it. You just want me to believe that there is a real bad flying around my bedroom. But the shadow was not relenting. So, against my better judgement I look....and scream! There is a bat flying around my bedroom...




I throw the quilt over my head and begin to wonder how I'm going to get my phone without the bat getting me.

I do get to my phone and call my husband who made it home in record time by the way.

I crawl down the steps (yes crawl) with a queen size quilt over me.

Dan comes home to find nothing. Nora, are you sure that you saw a bat?

Breakfast as a Class?

I have something to say. There has been something bugging me for a while - Public Education. I have been teaching for 9 years and I have often encountered the situation where I am blamed for a student's failing grade. And not only by the student, but by their parents. Many of these parents see no responsibility in their child's education. Honestly, by the time their children are in high school the parents shouldn't have to be too involved.

That isn't even the point of my post...I read an article in the paper this morning about public schools serving breakfast. Serving breakfast is not the issue either. It's breakfast counting as educational time for the students. The example the paper uses is about a 7th grade student who is too lazy to wake up early enough to eat breakfast. So then the poor child can't concentrate during his morning classes. One question - Where are his parents? Why don't they make sure his butt is out of bed? And now the responsibility falls on the schools again to raise their children. The article goes on to say that there are families struggling to feed their children due to the economy - and I get that. But there's no reason we have to give up instruction time to feed them. At our school we serve breakfast, but it's before the morning bell rings - no instruction time is lost.

Not only do we have the talk with them, and test their eye sight, and test their hearing, and teaching them how to interact with each other, and provide free sports activities, but now we will also give up our time to feed them. Why don't we just set up a few dormitories and have them live at school? Then the parents wouldn't have to pretend to do any parenting.

Whew! I feel better. Thanks. That won't happen again...for a while anyway. What do you think? Am I out of line here?

Looking Back

What do The Bucket List and The Last Lecture have in common?

They both refer to the to-do list that people make. The list of things to do before they die. For this post I've decided to work this idea backwards. I am going to look at what I have accomplished, both planned and unplanned, that I am proud of none-the-less.

If you remember I was rather upset about turning 30. Don't remember? Click here.

So, let's take a look back into my golden twenties in no particular order:

I suppose the biggest thing was buying my own house when I was 22. After one year of my 'real' job I wanted to move out of my parents' house. I had my mind set that I would not rent. My thought process was that I have to make a monthly payment regardless, why not pay myself? So, I did some research and the median age of first time home buyers is 32 (according to realtor.org). That's 10 years older than I was. That's 2 years older than I am right now. So, yes. I am pretty darn proud of that fact.

Second on my list is learning to drive stick shift. I know that this doesn't seem like a big deal, but when I was first learning it just seemed so impossible. So, that first year of teaching I needed to buy my own vehicle. There was no need to drive my parents' car any longer. My choice? A toyota tocoma - stick shift of course. Yup, I bought a truck that I couldn't drive. Sounds a little crazy, but I have this incredible father who totally understood and could drive standard. So until I learned, my dad and I swapped vehicles. And every evening my dad took me out driving until I was comfortable with my new skills. I'm happy to inform you that I now drive a little kia spectra - standard transmission - and this little car is SO much fun to drive. I will never regret the decision to buy that truck. THANKS DAD!!

Here's a good one...earning both my bachelors and masters degrees in my twenties. I graduated high school in 1996 when the graduation rate was 83% (http://www.epi.org/). And I graduated from college in 2000 with my bachelors degree, only about 24% of the national population has done that (http://www.census.gov/). I also earned my masters degree a few years ago (can't remember exactly when) and only 9% of the population has accomplished that (http://www.census.gov/). I've never been in the top ten of anything - least of all my high school graduating class - but when I look at these numbers, it appears as though I've finally made to the top ten percent in my education.

Getting married to the right person is next on my list. Have you ever fallen in love with your best friend? If you have then you know where I'm going with this. When I see my husband there is a weight that is lifted off my shoulders that I didn't even know was there. I see so many relationships around me fall apart and I can't help but wish they had what I do. I don't know that this is something to be proud of as much as grateful for. I'll word it this way...I'm proud that I was smart enough to marry him.

Becoming a mother. Being a mother is nothing to sneeze at. Warning! There is a cliche coming. Motherhood is the hardest yet most rewarding job I will ever have. I love being Jared's mom. Being given the opportunity to guide a human being in this world is so incredible. Being a mother makes he want to be a better person. I absolutely love my little buddy!!

Lastly, surviving a tragedy. I don't really want to go into detail on this one, but surviving this it is something I'm proud of. At the onset of this situation we were prepared to get professional help for me if there was a need. I wondered about how this would effect my mental health, my marriage, my relationship with everyone, and my ability to work. It seems as though I made it. Our marriage is stronger than ever and all other aspects of my life have strengthen, the ones that matter anyway. By surviving this, I feel strong and I have a new view of the world and how I fit in it. I'm proud that although I could have curled up in a ball and died (figuratively) I didn't. I allowed this to only strengthen me rather than weaken me.

If you haven't seen the movie The Bucket List or read the book The Last Lecture I do recommend that you do. Time is ticking...